I want to be a loser

The Beatles - I'm a loser

In the coming year, I want to be a loser.  Yes, I really meant it.  Wait a minute - it’s nothing negative, perverted or retarded.  Alternatively, it is quite positive and healthy.

I want to be a loser, a loser of pounds and calories.

I want to be a loser, a loser of cholesterol and glycogen.

I want to be a loser, a loser of eczema, lentigo and urticaria.

I want to be a loser, a loser of dyspepsia, gastroesophageal reflux and constipation.

I want to be a loser, a loser of adiposity and sebum.

I want to be a loser, a loser of amnesia and negativity.

I want to be a loser, a loser of any kind of disorder and pathogens.

I want to be a loser, a loser of solipsistism and opsimathy.

Go directly to Part 2

I want to become the biggest loser.